Attack of the Bros!

In my morning class today, while quietly ignoring the professor and his incessant babbling, I was ignominiously assaulted with foul speech of the undereducated. It went something like this -

Bro 1: dude, i totally was gonna get word (as in microsoft. I admit that I assumed it was innuendo until later in the conversation. let's read on...) last night, but it cost like 40 bucks! i'm not gonna do that shit. dude, my cash is fo' my booze.

Bro 2: true that shit, dude. but, dude, why didn't you tell me, bitch? i pwn those codes for getting word.

Bro 1: fo'realz?

Bro 2: no doubt. word, excel, powerpoint, all taken care of, bitch (apparently, bro 1 is bro 2's bitch. while it seemed endearing, it also implied an inordinate amount of ownership for two fellas).

Bro 1: you can give me the code now, though, right, dude?

Bro 2: NOPE, shit, bitch. it's gone now. but, dude, it's like 10 dollas if you get it with they CYC's! GO TEAMS OF THE UNIVERSITY! (I paraphrase)

Bro 1: thanks dude.

Bro 2: no problem dude.

Bro 1: how do you use quicksilver?

Bro 2: DUDE. it's so simple.

Bro 1: dude, just tell me, dude.

Though the scene required proper action and terse words on my part, I suffered beautifully and did not administer sufficient chastisement as is demanded by the decorum of a gentleman.

P.S. The majority of that conversation has been tampered with by a scurrilous nave. I mainly wanted to talk like a knight, such as has been featured in the book I have been reading, in that last sentence there. Be warm in heart, I spared you the 'thees and thous'.

P.P.S. After class was over, I overheard those same Bros talking about trying to pick up chicks. They were quite philisophical about it. Well, medical maybe. They both agreed that it's much easier to hit on girls when they've already got a girlfriend. Their unassuming agreement with each other was quite funny, but...ASSHOLES. Jesus. Girls are people too.